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Monday, November 30, 2009

A shift in my mind-set.

My return, as in my 'virtual' presence, didn't go as planned. That is, I've been MIA - again. BUT, on a positive note, during this last absence, something has changed. Namely, ME and my mind-set.

Life, as always, is complicated, as it is for everyone. Lots has been happening in the 'real' world which in turn has given my health another knock (like it needed waking up!). But, it's been during this latest life-blip that something has shifted inside me. A new kind of acceptance coloured my mind-set.

Now, acceptance in any shape or form is a good thing. It's taken me 10 years, but it's finally started to happen. I have a new mantra that has become relevent not only to my health situation (i.e. the MS) but also to life in general:

It is what it is

Those five little words suddenly enveloped me with peace and acceptance that I hadn't embraced before. I realised that no matter how I feel; angry, frustrated, upset etc. I can't change what is.

Suddenly, everything feels so simple. I can rant all I like about the MS or life's curve balls, but nothing will change. That was when I accepted that I can't change 'what is' but I can change the way I deal with it.

The great news about this is that I don't have to do anything or use any energy that I haven't got, but just accept the current situation for what it is - without feeling the guilt or surprise that tries to grab me whenever I experience another symptom or effect of the MS.

So, in essence what this means is, there'll be no more apologies from me for my blogging lapses, non-attendance of events that I can't make, and 'virtual' absences. It's now enough for me to know that *I* know I'd be doing everything if I could, and when I can't (which is more often than not) it is what it is.

Thanks for listening to my ramblings. :)