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Tuesday, August 30, 2011

A Great Week [in my Inbox]...

 …and it’s only Tuesday!

I’ve loved enough to share some of these on my Fb wall. Kinda strange to acknowledge that some days I share loads and other times, nada. Trust me when I say that posts I share and/or ‘Like’ are the ones that have spoken to my heart.

Here’s a few more that have touched me from today’s Inbox:

Liz incorporates a link where you can scroll on the recording to listen to her recent radio interview. I found it at approx 2hrs 9 mins into the show. Definitely worth the time of taking a few mins to listen.

This spoke to me today: '...those who are “in Christ," the distance has been closed by the Cross!'  An amazing reminder of my generous and amazing God.

I subscribe to a few devotionals that encourage me on my everyday walk with Jesus.

These are two links of the many which have inspired me today.

What's inspired you today?

Monday, August 22, 2011

A Celebration!

Just popping by to say I'm thrilled that we've completed our current manuscript! Graham has it here right now, signed, sealed and ready to deliver BEFORE the RNA's NWS deadline ('cept the local post office doesn't open until tomorrow) and I'm under strict orders to STAY AWAY from it. 

This means it'll remain pristine when it arrives at its destination later this week (God and the Post Office willing). Did I already mention that we're ready BEFORE the actual deadline...Yes, I know, it's only just before but all the same...

Saturday, July 16, 2011

Procrastination and Writer’s Blocked is me!

I’m currently tampering with everything other than writing. Why, when I’m so desperate to get back to a ‘normal’-to- me daily life?

Don’t get me wrong, Gray is writing as much as ever on the w-i-p but I’m still dipping in and out without actually feeling like I need to, yet I LOVE our story.

Writer’s Block is another post entirely, as is the old demon that is procrastination, but you guessed it, I’m not in the zone to write either right now.

Instead, I’m going to pretend that you, my dear reader/visitor, are actually interested in the whys and wherefores of what’s been happening this year to keep me away from the networking/writing. 

My last heads-up post was on the 16th January 2011 when I was celebrating some good news about the confirmation of my specific ms diagnosis. On th23rd January 2011, in the early hours of the morning. my Mum died. I will endeavour to share more about this monumentous event in my life, in later posts. However, just writing this has shown me how devastated I still am, so I'm afraid, that for the moment, I'm still writerly 'blocked'. Please bear with me while I disappear again. Suffice to say I'm missing everyone...

Sunday, January 16, 2011

A (celebratory) Heads-Up

Long time no Blog! 

In case I still have the odd reader I thought I'd chat a bit about what's been happening.

It’s no secret that 2010 was a painful and difficult year for us even before it was taken over by my MS-sy stuff. Graham and I were both determined that the New Year would be exactly that - a New Year. 2011 was going to be different - MS-wise, if nothing else. 

Well, 2011 is going to be different - just not in the way we'd hoped.   We've learned that my MS (particularly the way it was last year) isn’t ever going to change. Love it or hate it, I'm stuck with it (as it now is) for life.

What's to celebrate?

We’ve finally been given some concrete answers from my new-to-me neurologist. My recent appointment, even with its heartbreaking news, is also a cause for celebration:
  • We now have a genuinely, caring neurologist. After 11 years I didn’t think this was ever going to happen. It has. <3
  • We're now dealing with the facts about my journey with MS. I’m no longer being treated as a ‘text book case’ or being compared with others who have the same neurological condition. : )
I’ve always known that my MS journey and experiences are not the same as other MS-ers. We may share the same label and even symptoms, but we’re still individuals. We can empathise with each other but we all need to find our own route for coping.
  • I'm now having appointments with a local MS Nurse - who has a close working relationship with my neurologist. Said nurse will also be at the end of the phone if/when I need to speak to her. <3
  • I can now see the neurologist when I need to - not  merely 'go through the motions' of yet another pointless examination/scan without any answers and support. <3

I’m now accepting that:
  • I do know my body (and always have done). : )
  • We've received affirmation that there isn’t, never was, and never will be a magic treatment or cure - for me. And, no, that isn’t being negative. It’s being realistic (permanent scarring likely occurred some time ago!).
Let me point out here that I’d gone to this appointment determined to offer my services as a human guinea pig for trials and medications. Last year my breaking point was when I realised that I couldn’t fight the MS on my own any longer. Not only did I want help but I was demanding it! I didn’t want to be proved right... 
  • My dizziness/vertigo will be here for the rest of my life. As will the fatigue and numerous other symptoms.
So, as you can imagine, there's a lot going on for me/us to process and adapt to. It's such a relief to finally be able to deal with FACTS. To be told that I mustn't feel guilty for this, this and this. Also, to be reassured that I've been doing (and in one case not doing) the right things is just what I needed.

Emotionally I'm already feeling tonnes better. It is what it is, but there are things I CAN work on. A case in point is:
  •  The best thing I do is to use my walking stick. <3
  • The worst thing I do is use my walking stick AND Gray at the same time. : (
How amazing is it to now realise that when I use my stick my brain is being trained to give me more balance because it thinks I have three legs!!! When I also use Gray as a prop (with and without the stick), little did we know that I'm sending confusing signals to my brain! No wonder I'm often wobblier!  

It's going to take some getting used to, for both of us, but we're allowed to still have romantic walks from time to time so we're good with that. <3 : D